Being Trustworthy Does Not Demand Rigid Consistency, But It Does Demand Being Dependably Real

Being Trustworthy Does Not Demand Rigid Consistency, But It Does Demand Being Dependably Real H/T Carl Rogers

Carl Rogers' On Becoming a Person offers a nudge for rethinking how we connect with customers primarily through an exploration of the three core conditions. They are unconditional positive regard, empathic understanding, and congruence. I went ahead and stripped away the clinical language for you to suggest that doing marketing that treats people like people is a smart way to go.

1. Unconditional Positive Regard is basically doing marketing without manipulation. Rogers believed in accepting clients completely, without judgment, and in marketing, this means respecting your audience regardless of whether or not they buy your solution to their problem. Instead of seeing prospects as leads to squeeze through a funnel, ask: How can we serve this person's needs, even if we're not the right fit? Because people sense when they're being valued versus evaluated, when you stop needing every conversion, you often get more.

2. Empathic Understanding means you can understand the client's internal frame of reference by seeing the world through their eyes. This applies to marketing research that extends beyond demographics and behavior, delving deeper. Think of it as the difference between knowing your audience is "45-54-year-old homeowners" and grasping their 3 AM anxieties about retirement, their pride in their kids, and their frustration with feeling invisible. This understanding can't be automated or A/B tested. It requires curiosity, deep listening (to reviews, support tickets, social comments), and humility.

3. Congruence is the alignment between inner experience and outer expression, or as we say these days, authenticity. For Rogers, this meant being genuine rather than hiding behind professional facades, and in marketing, congruence means your brand voice matches your reality. It's admitting mistakes publicly, having your CEO sound human, and resisting the temptation to claim values you don't practice. It should be clear to you that consumers in #2026 have finely tuned BS detectors, and every disconnect between what you say and do erodes trust. Congruence is not a synonym for perfection, but might be one for honesty.

If you choose to apply Rogers' work to marketing, you won't be abandoning strategy or metrics; you'll simply be leading with a different question: how can we create conditions where customers feel understood, respected, and met with authenticity? That might look like email sequences that educate rather than push, content that addresses real doubts rather than objections, and support that prioritizes resolution over speed.

Rogers believed people have an innate tendency toward growth, and I hypothesize that given the right conditions, they'll naturally move toward what serves them. At times that's your product, and sometimes it's not.

I am confident enough to let that be okay. Are you?